she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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