i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
