My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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