is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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