Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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