my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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