Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
