so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
