why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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