carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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