the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
