READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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