Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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