Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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