Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
