id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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