Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
