Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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