I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize