Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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