last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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