wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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