My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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