So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
