you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
