I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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