Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
