Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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