I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
