I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
