She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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