Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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