You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
