Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
