I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
why is half of my head shaved?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
