even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
