I need help removing her.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
