honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
