so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
