idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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