so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to showerâ€#ruinedthemoment
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