I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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