too bad you live with your parents still
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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