Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
this boner is exhausting
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize