I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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