I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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