We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
