Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
