u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
