I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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