He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
