i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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