He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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