Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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