he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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