After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
