so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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