...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
