where am i from again
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
