porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
